The submissive understands that boundaries, limits, and consent have been outlined to protect the privacy, physical safety, personal/private reputation, and mental health of both parties at all times.
Violating Mistress’s privacy and/or consent by breaking these rules is grounds for immediate termination of the Dynamic and immediate dismissal of the submissive. At no time, unless otherwise stated in writing, does The Haute Mistress consent to engage in a dynamic where her clearly defined boundaries are crossed, her trust is abused, her privacy is violated, her safety and/or physical/mental health is put into jeopardy, or her personal life is disrupted in any way.
Should you need clarification on any topic listed below please submit your question to TheHauteMistress on FetLife.
DRAMA FREE DYNAMIC
The Haute Mistress only engages in dynamics that are DRAMA FREE.
This is a NON NEGOTIABLE BOUNDARY that you as the submissive are required to agree to prior to engaging in a dynamic with The Haute Mistress.
Drama free means that there is never a negative effect on The Haute Mistress as a result of her participation in a dynamic.
The Haute Mistress does not consent to engage in messy dynamics that affect her personal/professional life, safety, or mental health.
Any dynamic that results in any type of situation where the police get involved and/or legal matters arise goes against what The Haute Mistress has consented to participate in, and the submissive will be held liable for damages. Situations where this might come into play include, but are not limited to, continuing to contact The Haute Mistress after she communicates to you that she does not want you to contact her again to the point police need to get involved, or your relationship status requires legal attention that involves The Haute Mistress in ANY way, such as a divorce where she is involved for any reason.
I can not stress this enough:
IF YOU CREATE ANY SITUATION THAT INVOLVES POLICE AND/OR LEGAL MATTERS IT GOES AGAINST WHAT THE HAUTE MISTRESS HAS CONSENTED TO PARTICIPATE IN. SHE CAN AND WILL PROCEED WITH HER OWN LEGAL ACTION AGAINST YOU, INCLUDING DAMAGES, SHOULD THE POLICE GET INVOLVED OR LEGAL MATTERS COME INTO PLAY.
If doxing activities or behaviors are participated in by the submissive at any time prior to, during, or after a dynamic has ended, the submissive will be liable for damages. Doxing will be extended to include instances where the submissive distributes the information to a 3rd party and the 3rd party is the direct person responsible for the doxing activities or behavior.
I can not stress this enough:
IF YOU PARTICIPATE IN DOXING ACTIVITIES OR BEHAVIOR AT ANY TIME CRIMINAL CHARGES WILL BE FILED, LEGAL ACTION WILL BE TAKEN, AND DAMAGES WILL BE SOUGHT.
Any instance that involves police for any reason at all, including but not limited to questioning only or giving a statement, will result in a $10,000 fee per occurrence regardless of how many times it is related to the same incident, in addition to any and all legal fees incurred by The Haute Mistress as a result of that police involvement. This fee is due immediately and is to be paid on the date of police interaction.
Any instance that involves legal matters for any reason at all, including but not limited to communicating with lawyers, protection and/or restraining orders, subpoenas, depositions, court appearances, trial, pre trial, divorce proceedings, or anything else legal related that is not listed here that requires The Haute Mistress’s attention will result in a $100,000 one time fee per incident and an ongoing $10,000 per month fee to be paid upfront on the 1st of every month until the issue is resolved, in addition to any and all legal fees incurred by The Haute Mistress as a result of that legal matter.
Any instance that involves doxing activities or behaviors by the submissive for any reason at all by way of publishing, distributing, or reproducing identifying information of The Haute Mistress, including but not limited to phone numbers, legal name, birthday, social security numbers, tax payer information, addresses, job information, websites, usernames, passwords, financial information/records, receipts, automobile information, emails, medical records, Non Disclosure Agreement, social media accounts, education records, licenses, diplomas, IP addresses, or anything else that has the affect of doxing activities or behavior that is not listed here will result in a $1,000,000 one time fee per incident and an ongoing $25,000 per month fee to be paid upfront on the 1st of every month until the issue is resolved, in addition to any and all legal fees incurred by The Haute Mistress as a result of that legal matter.
PRIVACY RULES
The submissive will NEVER violate Mistress’s privacy by asking personal questions related to her private life, career, family/friends, home address, work address, phone numbers, private email addresses, or similar type personal information that could be used to identify her.
At no time will the submissive stalk or use stalking tactics to try to identify or locate the Domme/Mistress. This includes but is not limited to tracking devices.
The submissive is prohibited from using recording devices, whether that be audio or visual, at any time to capture images, video, screen grabs, screen recordings, and/or audio of, including but not limited to, phone calls, video calls, in person meetings, sessions, writings, and or any other materials not listed here, whether they be physical or digital.
The submissive will only use the specified method of contact as instructed by the Domme/Mistress to contact her.
The submissive will not use information provided by the Domme/Mistress to engage in behavior or acts that negatively affect her, including but not limited her safety, physical/mental health, career, finances, earnings, living situation, personal/professional relationships, reputation, pets, travel arrangements, or any other ways not listed here.
The submissive will not participate in doxxing behavior at any time, this includes prior too the dynamic, during the dynamic, or after the dynamic has ended.
COMMUNICATION RULES
The submissive will only communicate through a messaging platform of The Haute Mistress’s choosing or the email provided in writing.
The only messaging platform the submissive may send communication through is FetLife.
The submissive will refrain from sending communications between the hours of 10pm and 6am CST.
Poor communication due to bad grammar and/or punctuation will not be tolerated.
The submissive will only participate in phone/video calls when instructed to and will not make requests for them otherwise.
The submissive is prohibited from recording photos, videos, and/or audio during phone/video calls.
The submissive will cease communications immediately and permanently upon request by The Haute Mistress, whether that be verbal or in writing. The submissive is to NEVER contact The Haute Mistress afterwards for any reason whatsoever.
CONSENT RULES
The submissive must give their written consent to engage in a dynamic with The Haute Mistress by signing a Consent Contract.
The submissive must notify The Haute Mistress in writing should consent ever be withdrawn for any reason at any time.
Changing the submissive’s consent to activities previously consented to must be done in writing by the submissive.
Initiating and/or engaging in activities outside of the written kink/fetish list provided by The Haute Mistress goes against her consent.
The submissive will provide STD testing and/or STD test results upon request at their own expense.
The submissive will provide proof of a government issued ID upon request.
Providing false, misleading, or outdated information in any way prior to, during, or after a dynamic has ended is a violation of The Haute Mistress’s consent.
Lying by the submissive in any way about anything, dynamic related or not, is a violation of The Haute Mistress’s consent and will not be tolerated.
The submissive engaging in intimate and/or sexual activity with others without written permission by The Haute Mistress is a violation of her consent. Permission slips are provided for this activity only upon written request.
BEHAVIOR RULES
The submissive will arrive on time for all meetings and sessions. Not earlier, not later. Exactly at the designated meeting time.
The submissive will always conduct themselves as a gentleman both during sessions and outside of sessions in vanilla settings. This includes opening doors, saying thank you and yes/no ma’am, carrying heavy things, and similar type behavior associated with being a gentleman.
The submissive will always interact with Mistress in a positive and pleasant manner.
GENERAL RULES
The submissive will not voice their opinions regarding protocol, rules, orders, tasks, or instructions outside of instances where it might violate the submissive’s limits or consent. The submissive may ask for clarification.
When a submissive cannot obey or perform a task within the comfort levels of the previously discussed dynamic specifications they must speak up and tell The Haute Mistress.
The Haute Mistress is not a “Pay for Play” Domme/Mistress and will not tolerate being approached or treated like one.
Gifts of any kind are considered as just that: A GIFT. Any gift received from the submissive hold no expectations or designated owed value by their receipt. Sending a gift and expecting something in return is considered “Pay for Play” and will not be tolerated.
Vacations will be observed and respected. The submissive will limit their communication during this time as instructed by The Haute Mistress.
Holiday season will be observed and respected, this means limited communication at times as well as observing the customs and traditions surrounding holidays.
The submissive will not engage in any behavior or act that puts The Haute Mistress in situations where police or legal is involved. The submissive will conduct themselves in a manner that prevents police or legal involvement in any way whatsoever. Failure to do so is a major violation of consent and will result in legal action by The Haute Mistress with the sub being liable for damages including financial.
SESSION(S) RULES
Communication:
The day before our session, you must confirm I can still expect you. I’ll provide instructions for doing so.
Follow my confirmation instructions exactly as given.
Relevant information, like my approximate address and parking details, will be provided upon your confirmation.
If you have questions or would like to get to know me better before our session, contact me via email or video chat.
Grooming, Wardrobe, and Health:
Bathe properly and thoroughly before our time together. If necessary, give yourself an enema.
You will be asked to freshen up upon arrival by taking a shower using Hibiclens microbial soap.
Dress in clean, everyday clothing. Avoid shirts with visible kink/fetish themes.
Avoid excessive amounts of hair gel or cologne.
Arrive sober. Avoid dulling your nerves with drugs or alcohol prior to play. For our mutual safety, arriving visibly intoxicated will result in your immediate dismissal. You won’t be allowed to schedule with me again.
Reach out promptly to reschedule should you start to feel ill in the 48 hours leading up to our session. Arriving visibly unwell will result in your immediate dismissal. You won’t be allowed to schedule with me again.
Arrivals and Formalities:
Follow my arrival instructions exactly as given to avoid drawing unwanted attention to either of us.
Expect excessive tardiness on your end to cut into our time together. I don’t always have a schedule flexible enough to accommodate you if you’re running late.
After parking, don’t leave your vehicle until I’ve given you explicit permission to do so.
Bring any toys/equipment previously discussed with you to the session. I will also bring toys/equipment of my choosing. All toys/equipment are to be PRE SANITIZED by using HIBICLENS soap to wash them so that they are ready for immediate use upon starting our session. Hibiclens will also be used to clean the toys/equipment after being used in a session.
You may use the bathroom or freshen up after we finish negotiating our scene.
Prior to the session The Haute Mistress will go to the bathroom to get dressed. Unless otherwise instructed the submissive is to be on their knees, naked, hands behind their back, and waiting with their eyes down for further instructions upon Mistress’s return.
The submissive will await instructions while having their collar and cuffs put on. The submissive will not adjust or remove the collar or cuffs at any point without permission.
Session Behavior:
Address me as Mistress. When asked even simple questions, answer respectfully: “Yes, Mistress/Ma’am” rather than “Yeah.”
The submissive is to observe eye contact restrictions unless otherwise instructed. When I want you to look me in the eyes I will command you to do so. At all other times when close face to face proximity is made your eyes should be looking down or towards floor.
Never touch me or remove your collar, cuffs, etc. unless told to do so.
Communicate when necessary. Always tell me if your limbs grow uncomfortable in bondage, your collar is too tight, or if you need a break for water, a snack, or the bathroom.
You will be asked to “give a color” at any time during a session to indicate your comfort level. “Green” means you are ok with the actives taking place. “Yellow” means you are reaching your limit with the activity. “Red” means you are wanting the activity to stop immediately but not the session. The only way to end the session early is to use the safe word.
The agreed upon safe word is “PINEAPPLE”. Using your safe word will end the session and activities immediately, and they will not restart again.
The submissive will thank Mistress often and with enthusiasm throughout the session. This includes when punishments are given.
The submissive will verbalize what he is thanking Mistress for when she asks them to.
Post Session:
The submissive will be responsible for cleaning and sanitizing all toys/equipment used during a session with Hibiclens.
After each session the submissive is required to fill out a Session Review/Notes questionnaire for The Haute Mistress so she can asses and develop future sessions that fit the specific needs and intensity levels of the submissive.
Other:
At any time if there is damage to toys/equipment, wardrobe, or personal property of The Haute Mistress the submissive will replace those items with brand new ones, OR financially compensate her for the dollar amount of new items. You break it you buy it!!
The submissive is not to take or keep anything that doesn’t belong to them from a session.
ENDING THE DYNAMIC
At any time the dynamic can be ended by either party. The Haute Mistress will send notification in writing to end the dynamic, and it is the submissive’s responsibility to make sure that the contact information they provided is up to date and valid to receive such notice. Failure to have valid contact information does not invalidate the notice sent ending the dynamic in any way.
While The Haute Mistress normally provides her submissive with a written notification that includes the reason the dynamic was ended and options moving forward, she is not obligated to do so.